Anatomy of Kannada song – Season1 Episode1

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This series is dedicated to my adopted mother-tong ‘Kannada’ and its rich film industry which solely dedicates its budgets on heroins,exotic locations and item songs but not on scripts and actors.

“who needs a script  when you can steal one”
-random director

Let me start this series from our own young and dynamic hero since last 20 years hatrick Shiva rajkumar.

“Yak amma nagthiya
Hing yaake kolthiya
Nin nagu nodbuttu
Bulb off aaghoithu
Strong itthu nan body
Weak aithu nin nodi
Aag bitre naav jodi kolaveri di
Kele twinkle twinkle little star
Neene nanna super star
Naane ninna rajkumar-re
No problem ninna height-u swalpa jasthi ne
No problem ninna waiting list al naan idhru
No problem ninna heart alli jaaga kotre
Life long-u alle naanu jaanda urthine
Strong itthu nan body
Weak aithu nin nodi
Aag bitre naav jodi kolaveri di”

Translation :

“Hey mother why are you laughing?”
(and then suddenly situation escalates)

“why are you killing like this?”
“after seeing your smile, bulb got switched off”
(This incident can be scientifically proven that the women is using smile detector in her entire home which is used to switching on/off the bulbs).

“My body was strong”
“After seeing you, my body got weaker”. 
(Plot twist: That women is a krypton and he is superman)
“If we become couples kolaveri di” 
(I am not sure why did the lyricist put “kolaveri di” in the line which has no meaning, but who cares? Its catchy and trending as fuck like 3 years back ).
“Listen twinkle twinkle little star”
“You are my super star” 
“I am your Rajkumar -re”
(see!? I told you he is super man and she is krypton. Krypton is a star and she is hinting about the super man in next line. This is the level of symbolism in Kannada film industry-re.)

“No problem, you are bit taller”
(98% of heroines are taller than shiv raj kumar. so, he compromises it)

“No problem even if i am in your waiting list”
(No body dates to shiv raj kumar. so, he compromises it)

“No problem, If you give me place in your heart “
“I will poke a sphere into your heart for life long”
(That! escalated quickly! but its still a romantic Kannada song)

“Love-u school-ige nee teacher aadhare
Front-u benchalli naa aguve
Ramangaaagi seetha shivangaagi geetha
Nange neenu swantha
Baa military hotel-al muddhe tinnona
No problem no problem ninge flash back-u idhrunu
No problem no problem naana atm maadkondru
No problem no problem
Ninna mummy daddy no andhrunu
Avra kkalig biddhaadhrunu vaposikolthine
Strong itthu nan body weak aithu nin nodi
Weak aithu nin nodi
Aag bitre naav jodi”

“If you are teacher for LOVE school”
“I will become the first bench”
(after all he still wants to become a bench not a student. This is why education is important)

“Sita for Rama, Geetha for Shiva”
(You might ask did lord shiva had a n affair with Geetha? No.. no.. the ‘Shiva’ in this line lyricist refers to ‘Shiva’ rajkumar. He had a affair with Geetha. Told you Symbolism!. well played lyricist, well played)

“Come on girl lets go to some Military hotel and lets eat some Raagi balls”
(This is possibly the most desi way of telling a girl ‘hey! can we go for a date’)

“No problem, Even if you have flash backs”
(No problem, even if you have seen shiv raj kumar movies. Shiv raj kumar will compromise)

“No problem even if you make me your ATM”
(No problem. Shiv raj kumar will compromise)

“No problem, If your parents say NO to me”
(This is pretty obvious, Even a blind parents will say NO to him)

“I will fall to their feet and ask for your hand”
(So, Shivanna will go to her parents and fall on to their feet and cry for their daughter and ask for her hand. But its okay. Shivanna compromises)

“ninna cell-ige naa headphone aaguve
Nee katto billige naa salaana maaduve
Sapno ki raani Hatthu nanna doni
Bekilla yeni neer ildhe iro nadhi dhatoonve
No problem ninna colour swalpa jaasthi ne
no problen neenu arabian thagalaadhru
No problem no problem neenu opdhe gipdhe idhbutre
Naan tv9 al live kutthu bai badkothine
Strong itthu nan body
Weak aithu nin nodi
Aag bitre naav jodi kolaveri di”

“I will become headphones to your mobile”
(Most romantic lines to say to a girl. Surely i am using it as my next pickup line. “hey babe! I want to be your ‘sennheiser cx 180’ to your Motorola g first generation”. *Publicly shamed and rejected* )

“I will take loan to pay your bills” 
(but wait! he just said he will be an ATM? and a bench! )

“Hey dream girl get into my boat”
(oh! now he rides a boat)

“Don’t want ladder, lets cross a river without water”
(first: which lady will carry a ladder with her? second: Why do you guys want to cross the river? Third: Who calls a river as a river when there is no water? Forth: If there is no water why the fuck did you tell her to climb your boat? Five: Why the fuck do you even have a boat?)

“No problem if you are fairer than me”
(100% of the heroines are fairer than Shiv raj kumar. so, Shiv raj kumar compromises)

“No problem even if you are Arabian buck (male goat)”
(Even if you are a girl/boy/male/female/animal/carnivorous/herbivorous/sheep/goat/buffalo shiva raj kumar is okay with it. When whole planet fantasize about Indian women. Shiv raj kumar fantasize a level up, arabian, animals, goats, bucks. Naughty Shiv raj kumar.  He doesn’t want a goat but he wants a male goat (buck) which shows he supports gay marriages. Shiv raj kumar supports LGBT. Shiv raj kumar compromises)

“If you don’t agree, I will go to TV9 and sit there shout”
(I am looking forward to it.)

Now we are here at the best part of the song. The end of the song. Looking back I never expected this song will be giving some social messages to people but silently it does. On looking at the song, or hearing it you wont come to know the hidden messages in this song.

This song has 3 paragraph and each paragraph has 3 “No problems” and Shiva raj kumar is called hatrick hero which is 3. So its “333” The masonic number. Shiv raj kumar is a illuminati.

**That’s all folks**
*TEE HEE*

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