Hitchhikers guide to Bangalore! (Beggars Episode 1)

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Bangalore. The capital city of Karnataka where 90% of population is from Andhra, 70% Tamilnadu, 60% North Indians and the last and the least is 4% is actually the kannadigas. That sums up to 224%.
Yes, Bangalore is over populated.

But, what makes Bangalore famous? Apart from its countless startups, innovations, MNCs, Engineers and street dogs what makes Bangalore famous is its rich, talented, highly qualified Beggars. I personally don’t want to group every category of beggars into one and explain you because I support individual talents.

In this series of writing I am going to (re)introduce you to the 5 kinds of beggars, their type, behavior and how to escape from them *haiyaaaaaa*  (weird Kung-fu noise).

1) “Bhaiyya aapko Hindi aathi hai?…

Identification: This beggar comes with an old school bag (mostly black) on his back which looks like it’s filled with some heavy books or clothes.  You will see one SPOC (Single point of contact) who will speak with you. Accompanied with an old man, a woman holding a baby in her hand. An old women which might be the old man’s wife but who are we to judge?
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BehaviorThis beggar comes towards you and starts talking for no reason. Every conversation starts like this “Bhaiyya aapko Hindi aathi he? “ If you say “YES”. CONGRATULATIONS!! You are his new adopted “Bhaiyya!”.
If you say “NO”. He will never give up, he will move to next language. “Bhaiyya Kannad aatha he?”, “tamil aath he?..”  And this continues with Spanish, French, Hebrew and every single language on the planet until you say “YES”.  Then the best part comes. The story telling.

Hum Maharashtr se aaye hein. Yaaha pe hamare owner ne hamme dhoka dhedhiya. Hamara sab paisa samaan loot liya, Hamare pas kuch nahi he. Subha se kuch nahi khaya, bachcha ro raha he! (points at the old man). Kuch paisa dhe dho bhaiyya hum maharastr jaayenge aur wahan se aapke account pe paisa daal dhenge.

Experience: I was caught by these guy once. It was my first encounter. I heard his whole story, literally bust out laughing when he said “Kuch paisa dhe dho bhaiyya hum maharastr jaayenge aur wahan se aapke account mein paisa daal dhenge”. Dude! Seriously? Bank account number kaafi he? IFCSI code nahi chahiye kya? I gave him whatever was there in my wallet (50. Rs) Just for his story telling and told him “Ithna hi he bhai”. Then I was my way out from there, then he counted the money with a fake sadness on his face. Then he looked at me and asked “Bhaiyya udhar ATM he kuch paisa nikaal ke dhedhona ?” !. That’s all I jumped out of the crowd before he ask for my ear rings.

Escape: The best and proven method to escape from these beggars is simple. First you need to remember the above story. So when they approach you and ask “Bhaiyya aapko Hindi aathi hai?…
Just stop them and you start “Haan Bhaiyya Hindi aathi he..

Hum Maharashtr se aaye hein. Yaaha pe hamare owner ne hamme dhoka dhedhiya. Hamara sab paisa samaan loot liya, Hamare pas kuch nahi he. Subha se kuch nahi khaya, bacha ro raha he! (point at the old man). Kuch paisa dhe dho bhaiyya hum maharastr jaayenge aur wahan se aapke account pe paisa daal dhenge”.

This will literally piss them off and they will just leave.

Please Try this and share your experience.

*That’s all folks*

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2 thoughts on “Hitchhikers guide to Bangalore! (Beggars Episode 1)

  1. Haha…you seem to have enough experience to make this an organized sector. With our salary at the current pay master, this is indeed a lucrative business option (Now I need my share for this wonderful idea ;)

    1. “Hum Maharashtr se aaye hein. Yaaha pe hamare owner ne hamme dhoka dhedhiya. Hamara sab paisa samaan loot liya, Hamare pas kuch nahi he. Subha se kuch nahi khaya, bacha ro raha he! (points at the old man). Kuch paisa dhe dho bhaiyya hum maharastr jaayenge aur wahan se aapke account pe paisa daal dhenge.”

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